Exploring Discomfort

This is super short and probably nonsense to many of you. So, welcome to my brain?

It's scary to admit when you aren't at your best.

For one, it's a confirmation to yourself — things could be better. For some reason, not stating that at all almost allows the discomfort to sit beneath the surface, as if it's not even there. “It’s not real if you don’t say it!”

But your body knows. You won't be well that way.

In my case, I am feeling a bit wayward at the moment. It's not quite an overwhelming feeling, just more of a, “What should I be doing right now? I know this isn't it...” sensation.

Which, inherently, is the worst feeling! Time is our most important currency, and I am hypersensitive to the feeling of waste with my most precious resource.

Then there's the question of time as we measure it, to begin with. Zooming out beyond our dimension, we are the ones who assign value to time. “We draw the lines,” as my esteemed brother-in-arms, MD, says.

The lines we draw on our time are milestones. They keep track of our minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, and on. When I don't feel I'm getting the most out of my minutes, hours and days, I feel like I'm wasting away. I want something out of my time, and this is not it.

That feeling is a challenge, and I'm sure you've sensed it at some point. What should we do?

Second, admitting this means you're sharing this thought publicly. This is my choice, and more importantly, my interpretation. By sharing, some part of me inside feels as if I'm now lesser in your eyes.

So why would I share?

To overcome that, I suppose.

The body knows what the mind must do. Often, we just can't piece together what that actually is. We are out of sync.

Thus, my aim is to overcome that through this short post. Furthermore, I didn’t even realize that was my aim until I got here. It's scary, but phew! The purpose of an essay. How relieving!

Whether or not I am correct in the eyes of the public is not the most important thing here. In fact, it never is. Instead, my perception will drive the result.

And isn't that just the funniest thing? Of course it is! I make my own reality. If I face the facts, and I am comfortable with it, I have modified my reality.

And now I feel better.

Love,

Bren